Vampire Vednesday

Vampires are sexy. No one really argues with that. Some might argue that specific vampires are not sexy. That's allowed. Count Von Count is not very sexy. Edward from Twilight is too moody and sexist to be sexy. Yes. I think Edward Cullen is sexist. We can duke it out in the comments if we must.

Looking very boy-band, Spike.

But most vampires are totally sexy. Eric Northman? Sexy. Lestat de Lioncourt? Sexy. Spike from Buffy? Sexy (but that hair is so 90's, Spike).

But the sexiest vampire of all time? I'm gonna vote for Carmilla. You don't know Carmilla? From the novella Carmilla? Shame!

Published about 25 years before Bram Stoker's Dracula, Carmilla was written by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu and printed in a magazine called The Dark Blue.

In the novella, Laura is an 18 year old girl with a history of lesbian dreams involving beds and biting. When 18 year old Carmilla's carriage breaks down crashes has an accident (? How the eff do you word that?), Laura's dad invited Carmilla to stay with them for a while. Carmilla's mom, who was also in the carriage, takes off to who knows where to do who knows what (doesn't matter).

Of course Laura and Carmilla, who sleeps all day and stays awake all night, become besties right away, but Laura keeps trying to get Carmilla to stop hitting on her all the time. Meanwhile those biting and wrestling on the bed dreams keep getting worse for Laura, and to top it off, she's now sick all the time. Her pops eventually decides to take her to the country to get well. Carmilla and a governess are all set to follow them later in the day, since Carmilla is a sleepy head.

When they get to the country, Laura and her Dad hear a story about another girl who had dreams of being bitten and who got sick. Turns out a lady vampire named Millarca was biting the girl's nipples and she died. Laura's dad then remembers that they have an old family portrait of a woman named Mircala that looks exactly like Carmilla.

Holy cow! It's a vampire lady who loves ANAGRAMS! Carmilla then shows up on cue and gets all saucy. Long story short, a vampire hunter shows up and they kill Carmilla in her sleep in her grave, then Laura goes on a year long vacation to break herself of her sinful lesbian tendencies recover from the trauma.

It's an easy read, and Carmilla is pretty sexy and lustful throughout. She even has a hot mole on her neck. Not like a skin cancer mole, but a nice one, you know?

Here's an excerpt:

Sometimes after an hour of apathy, my strange and beautiful companion would take my hand and hold it with a fond pressure, renewed again and again; blushing softly, gazing in my face with languid and burning eyes, and breathing so fast that her dress rose and fell with the tumultuous respiration. It was like the ardour of a lover; it embarrassed me; it was hateful and yet overpowering; and with gloating eyes she drew me to her, and her hot lips travelled along my cheek in kisses; and she would whisper, almost in sobs, "You are mine, you shall be mine, and you and I are one for ever". ("Carmilla", Chapter 4).

You can get a free copy of Carmilla for your kindle through Amazon. Huzzah! Free book!

And speaking of anagrams, Bacon Reascend is an anagram you can make with my name. :)